Sugardaddies: I lost my wallet. Can I have yours?

It is pretty unusual for an attractive man to date an unattractive woman. Yet, the opposite holds true when concerning a hot woman dating an ugly guy.

Studies have shown that men are more visual creatures while women are more emotional, lending to the belief that while men only want the hottest of the hot, women can settle for meaningless attributes like a strong sense of humor or a good personality.

Bullshit. It doesn't take a degree in psychology to figure out the answer is MONEY. Women like stuff. If you buy women said stuff they will like you. Even if you look like a monkey.

Matters of finance often confuse me as I don't really know where to draw the line. I've been with a guy who presented me with a Cartier ring on the first date. I've also been with a guy who asked me to pay for him at a burger joint.

While these two men exemplify the extremes, it is most appropriate to never ask a lady to pay for you. If you need money I suggest getting a job. If that is not a viable option, send me your address. I will be more than happy to supply you with cardboard and markers so you can make a decent living going car to car and pretending you are sick.

Good Charlotte once sang "girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money." And I must wholeheartedly agree. I've never thought someone behind the wheel of a volvo was hot. A guy with a sexy import immediately ups his game. Money also allows you to go to nice places.

Perhaps the biggest perk of dating an ugly guy is this: he has faced lots of rejection and as a result has worked really hard on his personality. He will also be a bit more vulnerable than your average guy allowing you to have complete power. Funny and listens to you! Where do I sign up?

Its simple math:
Hot guy = boyfriend, but also player. Hotties are well aware that they are hot.
MONEY + monkey = loyal and rich boyfriend

The holy grail is a hot guy that doesn't know it. i.e. this man used to be fat or a loser and has yet to realize his transformation.

It is better, however, to go for the chubby cute guy than the full-on ugly. You can make him diet, trust me I've tried (on a guy I wasn't even with) and was very successful. Fat guy + fat wallet = success.

Disclaimer: Both Mr. Cartier and BurgerBoy were lookers. I can never kiss an ugly. I do not want advances from ugly men since I care about genetics, I am just suggesting that other women give them a chance so there's more beautiful people for me.
To the ugly women out there, please stick to your own kind. It would also be much appreciated if you don't post kissy pictures on facebook. No one wants to see monkeys in the making.