As colleges around the world are about to release another cohort of seniors into the real world where things like careers and reputations actually matter I feel obliged to share with you some career advice that a close friend of mine thought would be applicable.
As you begin your long, painful, fraught with disappointment and self-reflection careers, Susan Antilla, of Bloomberg inc., would like to remind us that keeping your "Libido control is how to get ahead in the office" (This is not to be mistaken with how to get head at the office. The two, it seems, are mutually exclusive).
So if you were hoping, as I was, for a career filled with office romances with pretty human resource ladies, or to be getting that late night romp on your bosses desk as you work on your millionth pitch be advised you could be spelling the end to your career, especially if you are bad in bed.
There are however some exceptions to the rule:
1) Sleeping with your boss: Getting on your back to get on the fast track is by far the fastest way to getting promoted. However, this does come with some caveats: Do not get caught by your boss' boss, Do spend lots of time giving oral. Also, if you are bad in bed this might not be the best way for you to get promoted, instead try to focus on leadership skills.
2) Sleeping with your boss' significant other: While this might be morally reprehensible, if you don't get caught this could be the second fastest way to getting to the top (and on top). Nothing speeds up the promotion process than a good word from your boss' significant other.
I hope as seniors reading this depart into the real world they keep this nugget of wisdom in mind when about to unzip at the office.
Happy Humping!!
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