Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Personality


Before entering into a relationship one usually evaluates their significant other based on a number of criterion: Face, eyes, hair, buttocks, other physical attributes …. and personality.

Hollywood has fetishized the personality. It has given it an undeserved hero status in the quest for true love. The truth of the matter is there are a lot of things that a personality can not hope to achieve: You cannot make sweet sweet love to a personality. You personality is not seen in public with you. And your personality cannot raise your self esteem when you look in a mirror.

Personality does have some benefit though. Even the hottest girl can turn you off because something is lacking beneath the surface. The trick is to think of your significant other as a new car (this is not meant to objectify women, but for the purpose of this exercise the car shall be referred to in the feminine). She has to look good on the outside and be nice drive. The personality is like the added features. Things like air-conditioning to make you feel comfortable, GPS system to make sure you are never lost and air bags to make you feel safe (no buy airbags I do not mean boobs).

However, you cannot really have added features without the car can you. People who pretend to be deep and focused on personality are lying to themselves. If you want to test this out, tell your significant other over the phone that you gained a lot of weight and wait to hear that two second pause more fitting for someone who just heard that a loved one passed away.

Depth is for deep sea divers, most of us waddle on the shore.